Q & A with author Michelle Murphy Zive and Susan J. Farese of SJF Communications

SJF: In a nutshell, tell us about your book or written piece.
MMZ: The talk I’m giving is about my experiences as a Ph.D. student at USD. I went to USD because in a span of a couple of months, three women in their 50s said to me (I was in my 40s), “Oh, just wait until you turn 50 — you become invisible.” I thought to myself that’s ridiculous and made a decision to get my Ph.D. (It wasn’t that much of a cause and effect but you get the gist.). And while my age had something to do with me going to school, it didn’t define me. I went into the program with all the enthusiasm of a child. I contributed in class, raising my hand, raising my voice. My peers didn’t see me this way. They saw me as an entitled white privileged woman who took up space. I was blindsided. They had no idea who I was. This led to my dissertation topic, which was the use of images and storytelling to create empathy and build bridges in a small group of diverse middle-aged women. The women included a Catholic Latina who is an executive director and married for 15 years with two children, an African American Christian woman with three children who worked for a nonprofit, a lesbian who left the police department and had never been married, a biracial divorced woman who has two kids and was in a relationship with a woman, and a white devout Catholic, married for 25 years, who had been a stay-at-home mom while her two boys were small but was now an empty nester. I was also part of the study. The question asked in the group was “what does society think of middle-aged woman?” And then “what is it like to be you in your own spaces and places?” The women went out and took photos using these two prompts, which resulted in a rich (and civil) discussion. Bottom line: each one of us was transformed, opened to others’ stories, and connected despite our differences.

SJF: What has your experience been as a writer in San Diego?
MMZ: Judy Reeves, the founder of The Writing Center and San Diego Writers, Ink, facilitated a Thursday night writers group. Judy gave a prompt, we wrote for 12 to 15 minutes, and then those who wanted to share, would. For the first year, whatever the prompt (write about a rubber band, the sky turned a deep indigo, the smell of rain) I wrote about my dad. It was the weirdest thing. This group saved my life. It was the best $5 therapy out there. For many years, I was a part of that community. Then life happened. I got remarried, had a son, and we raised my daughters to adulthood. I still follow the writing community, a stalker of sorts, and am so proud to be part of the origins.

SJF: How has storytelling influenced your life?
MMZ: Monumentally. Oh, if only I could leave it at that, but I can’t. I’m Irish. I just found out how Irish I am from 23andMe. The Irish, as well as other cultures, are renowned storytellers. My dad is and now I am. I will say my storytelling has become less self-absorbed (trying to figure out myself). Instead, I need to continue to be vulnerable in my storytelling but not for the purpose of purging but to connect to others so they feel they can tell their stories, too. There is a social justice undertone, overtone, and bedrock to the work/writing I do. This is my life’s purpose — to help change the narrative of the mainstream culture, and to encourage and celebrate diverse voices.

SJF: If you had a magic wand, what kind of opportunities would be available to writers in San Diego?
MMZ: See social justice comment above. Art is so important, especially in these times. Sharing stories should be more important than buying the latest Apple iPhone. Connecting through stories should be more important than how many likes we have on Facebook. Art should be valued and have currency. Art connects. I think we would need a magic wand to make this happen. Onward, we go.

SJF: What are you excited about when it comes to participating in the inaugural San Diego Writers Festival?
MMZ: The Zulu tribe greets each other with “I see you.” I feel like the organizers of the festival see me, and that means valuing what I have to say. The openness and support I’ve felt in the beginning stages of this process is amazing. My hope is that the festival makes others feel the same way I do. I see you.

SJF: What advice would you give to a new writer in San Diego?
MMZ: Don’t sweat the small stuff. For your own sanity, kick your ego to the curb. It’s scary to be authentic and vulnerable but when you tap into these, it’s golden. Also, don’t take yourself so seriously [insert my name]. Having a sense of humor helps.

SJF: Many thanks, Michelle!

Learn More about Michelle Murphy Zive, Ph.D.

Learn More about Susan J. Farese of SJF Communications